The Rock Star Mum Review ep 40
Well tweak my nipples like a pervy expert while I sit in a quiet room and watch the Trash Train that is Episode 40 of Married At First Sight Australia
We open to a drawn out montage of everyone we’ve forgotten about this season. Here’s a reminder: Hairy Headed Heidi and Up Himself Mike, Birkenstock Jules and Caring Cam, Softening Ning aaa replica designer handbags and Tolerant Mark, Insta Jess and Mick Dundee, Kimmy K Martha and Manbun Michael, Anus Ines and Backstreet Bronson, Mahatma Dino and Manic Mel, Expressive Lizzie and Twatwaffle in a Douche Canoe Sam, Lusty Lauren and Matt the Virgin 1:1 replica handbags , Louis Vuitton Supreme Ivan’s Sister/Cyclone Cyrell and Non ejaculating Nic, Critical Susie and Nervous Billy and Dirty Dan Done Dirt Cheap and Amy Winehouse Tamara. farkthatwasatripdownmemorylane
Cam and Jules arrive as I sit patiently waiting for the first bit of drama llama furiously sipping my wine. Manic Mel adds a bit of colour with her Count Dracula laugh and Cyrell charges in rapping some Eminem:
“So this cheap replica handbags looks like a job for me
so everybody just follow me
‘Cause we need a little controversyI shook my pom poms high quality designer replica handbags while doing a nude cartwheel in anticipation of things to come. I quickly sat down when Sam arrived sans facial pubes mental note to self: book in for more laser of the foofa Nervous Billy awkwardly yells “CHAMPAGNE fake designer bags CAMPAIGN” and I raised my glass in a silent prayer that he survives the night cheersbillyboymaintenanceforthefoofa
The Experts mumbled something like “tonight everyone will be held accountable” and I mumbled ‘why would you farking start now? Hmmmm?’ Lizzie, weighed down with her solid gold jewelry collection, ignored Sam and headed straight for Ning and Cyrell gang1. Kimmy K and Manbun walk in and Cyrell laughs “the BOTOX has arrived!”. Just quietly, I wanted to pull Kimmy’s hair when she told replica louis vuitton Billy to “just air kiss me, don’t touch the face” too cyrellwantstotouchyourfacekimmy.
Kimmy K imposed a life cheap louis vuitton bags from china ban on Manbun from communicating with Cyrell and promptly placed his testicles in her parent paid for handbag. babebabebabebabebabestoptalkingtoher. He did and is by the looks of it. itjustmeansafoofarashwhenmyhubbygrowsone
Anus arrived in a sliver of red pizza box and Insta walked in making the Mean Girl/Plastic Fantastic gang complete babebabebabe gang2 Kimmy tells her clan: “I came in here thinking I’d be civil but they’re rancid trash, so yeah nah” ohnoyoudidnt asifyoudid
Cam tells everyone about his engagement and they’re all Fake Louis Vuitton Replica Bags surprised. AGAIN, WHERE’S THE SIGNAL TELSTRA FFS? Manic Mel is so excited and after 8 years of not shagging, I’m a little nervous she’s might accidentally peak. ahhhhhhhhhhoopsadaisy
Insta announced she’s moving to the Goldy and jokes she might be pregnant. Critical Susie sniffed her wine before CHECKING HER TEETH IN HER FARKING KNIFE AGAIN! wtf Lizzie looks sad, Tam necks her wine and questioned Sam to try and make Lizzie feel better. Lizzie tells us “he’s a fucking replica louis vuitton bags liar” weknowdarlweknow
The Plastic Fantastic/Mean Girls continue along Bitchy Street (population 3) and I’m pretty sure it’ll be a gang fight with pink bandanas on one side and the Bureau of Meteorology reps on the other. Cyrell tried to talk to Manbun and Kimmy was all ‘I’ll gouge her eyes out” and Insta bitched back: “all she does is bark bark bark and she looks like a smashed crab, who cares” andwellyou knowI might have yelled a few nasty arsed things at the screen. instaisonmyshitlist takeyoursausagesoffyourlipsffs
Heidi and Mike explain their (YAWN) break up and Mike still wears his wedding ring “out of habit”. OMFG, IT’S BEEN 6 WEEKS AND IT WASN’T A REAL WEDDING! AM I MISSING SOMETHING? Heidi tells us she’s fine and necks her wine yeahnahyouarenotfinedarl
Insta and Kimmy have an in depth conversation about which designers they’ll wear tomorrow and boast how their parents pay for their lives: Kimmy: “yeah, I don’t even have a job and my parents are still supporting me” Not to be outdone Insta replied “My daddy says do you need $5000? And I’m like, yes daddy”Hearing dissent from the other end of the table, Insta was all “ooooh, Martha look! She’s just devastated that I took her husband heehehhe talking louder nobody wants you. I’m the foofa with the cream. Who knew taking someone’s husband could be so controverrrshall?” itscontroversialyoudickhead 1:1 replica handbags talkproperlyffs
Cyrell dolabuy.su , trying to reach the top buttons to make this trash train elevator go Willy Wonka final scene, says high quality replica handbags china loudly “everyone has made a mockery/my hoohaa is bored/I might just jump on your husband!” Lizzie tried to engage Sam, Sam was all “fuck off” so Lizzie turned on Insta about betraying Mick. Insta, after seeing a UFC fight with Dan earlier in the week whispered “I wanna go down there and lose my shit” Kimmy K was all “aww baaaabe, no it would look trashy” STFU KIMMY, LET HER BE TRASHY getonwithit
Cyrell yelled about “falling in love in a week” and Nervous Billy tried to get involved by saying “articulate girls” shhhhbilly Manbun, with Kimmy’s hand up his bum in a ventriloquist maneuver said “it’s like talking to a child”
EHMERRRGERRRRD, bring it bitches!
Cyrell turned on Manbun “who you calling a child? You condone cheating/Martha knew/YOU HAVE NO BALLS/use them on her, ya dweeb blah blah” Kimmy K tells us she’s “getting up and I’m going to pour my drink on her” and a producer started chanting “do it do it do it”. I’m embarrassed to say it but I joined in simply for the fun of it. oooohhereitcomes doi
THEN KIMMY POURED HER FCKING DRINK ON CYRELL!
Kimmy legged it for fear of being glassed and Cyrell threw her red drink on Kimmy before being crashtackled Discount Replica Louis Vuitton Bags to the ground notreallybutsoundedcool
The Experts tweaked their nipples in excitement while saying “oooh, what have we seen tonight?” ohthatfeelsgood
Kimmy K, pretending to be remorseful, tells Manbun it happened because he was “the weakest link”. Kimmy is embarrassed about her trashiness and how she “scummed down to her level and needs to apologise” rattledbutok youlooklikeasanitarypad.